People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
