***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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