East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
