why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
