I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
