remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize