Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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