I wanna bring you to show and tell
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
