so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
