Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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