I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
