Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
this hospital has no fireball
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
