i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
