This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize