We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
