Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
