Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
