I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
