Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize