she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
