can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
