whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
