ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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