Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
