My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize