next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
