Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize