i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
