i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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