Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I understand Curling. That high.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize