babies were throwing up all over the place
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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