They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
