It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
