Can i not drive my cunt home
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
