$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
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