I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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