Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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