Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
