She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
This baby is an asshole
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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