Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
