He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
