you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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