I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
