He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize