Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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