it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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