if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't deserve a penis
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
