We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
