One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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