How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize