I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
where are you?
Hypothermia
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
