Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
