That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
