I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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