what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
