THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
