Dual....:-)
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
