Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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