Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
