did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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