Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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