Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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