Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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