Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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