ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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