I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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