i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
