Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
