Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
