meet me or not, i'm out of control
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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