I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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