Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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